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The Scoop on Sir John Phallustiff
by Hella Cliques
October 21, 2026
Sir John Phallustiff is an iconic blunt melee weapon in Cyberpunk 2077 shaped like a vibrating adult novelty item. You acquire it during the side quest "Venus in Furs" after siding with Militech corporate agent Meredith Stout in the early mission "The Pickup" and later sharing a romance encounter at the No-Tell Motel.
Background & Acquisition
• The Militech Connection:During "The Pickup," you meet Meredith Stout outside the All Foods plant. Siding with her (by taking her credit chip and using it to deal with the Maelstrom gang) sets up her survival and future contact.
• The Flirtation:
Days later, she sends a text message. Replying with a flirtatious comment about her tattoos prompts her to invite you to Room 6 of the No-Tell Motel.
• The Weapon:
After a brief romance cutscene, you wake up alone and find the weapon left behind on the bed.
Name Meaning & Gameplay
• Literary Reference:The name is a direct pun on Sir John Falstaff, a famous, rotund, lecherous knight from William Shakespeare’s Henry IV and The Merry Wives of Windsor.
• Non-Lethal Blunt Power:
Despite its crude design, it functions as a high-tier Street Brawler weapon that deals non-lethal blunt damage and features unique stat modifiers—including a massive headshot critical chance bonus.
• Censorship & Alternative:
Players with nudity filters enabled will find it replaced by a standard Electric Baton Alpha. In later updates (like Phantom Liberty), alternative methods were added, such as purchasing it from a vendor named Herold Lowe in Petrochem Stadium.
